Screwing Up Turkey Day

In the United States, this week is Thanksgiving. It’s a time to stand back and give thanks for what one has. This is immediately followed by Black Friday, a day where people covet what their neighbor has, and they go out to buy unwanted things for people they don’t like with money they don’t have.

Part of Thanksgiving Week is the Traditional Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation. This includes the Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon. It’s a ceremony where the President selects a turkey to be spared from butchers block.

It’s a very lighthearted affair, and is literally the easiest thing that a President does all year. Only a complete and total idiot with no sense of empathy or social mores could fuck this up.

That being said, I’m wondering how will Donald Trump fuck this up?

Now, I don’t hope that he embarrasses himself, he does that enough every day. I just want to list as many ways that I think Trump can screw this up. Of course, I will miss what actually happens because, even with as vivid as my imagination is, I’ll miss what actually happens.

There is no order to this list, just how it comes to mind.

HOW DONALD TRUMP WILL FUCK UP THE TURKEY PARDON

He cancels the event because he’s not feeling good.
He confuses Turkey the bird with Turkey the country.
He pardons a series of turkeys, that are actually his family, Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, and Mike Flynn dressed in turkey costumes.
He screws up that, and his family eats Paul Manafort for dinner.
He names a turkey Hilary, then is caught on a hot mic saying “I’m gonna eat that bitch.”
He makes some disparaging and borderline racist comments about Native Americans.
The comments aren’t even remotely borderline.
He makes some racist comments about Senator Elizabeth Warren.
He bitches about Indian Casinos.
He confuses Indians with Native Americans. This involves jokes about casinos and tech support.
He answers questions from reporters about Al Franken, Russia, or Nazis.
He answers those questions honestly.
He tries to pardon his co-conspirators.
He uses the Turkey Pardon to initiate his own version of the Saturday Night Massacre in an attempt to fire Robert Mueller.
Someone gets arrested at the ceremony.
Trump makes a bunch of “gobble, gobble” noises.
He says something about eating reporters or children.
He casually confirms some of the worst rumors from the Steele Dossier.
Bonus points if it’s the pee tape.
Double bonus points if he admits that the girls in the tape were underage.
Triple bonus points if he then follows that up with defending Roy Moore and/or condemning Al Franken.
Quadruple points if he says “so what”.
He casually makes reference to cannibalism.
He says that Turkey is his third favorite food behind human flesh and McDonalds.
Human flesh is second to a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
He goes on a rant about Mexicans, saying that tacos don’t belong in a Thanksgiving feast.

And the absolute worst thing to happen…

Trump doesn’t screw this up, and the media trips over themselves congratulating him on a job well done and saying he’s finally acting presidential.

Trump vs. Bernie

This is a story I’ve wanted to write for a while, but I’ve never gotten around to it, and since it’s going to take me some time to wrap my head around the Mike Flynn stories and the release of the Paradise Papers, or Panama Papers: The Sequel, I decided that I would write about Vladimir Putin’s Wet Dream.

Donald Trump vs. Bernie Sanders for President of the United States.

As I discussed way back in Horseshoe Theory, parts of the Left Wing refused to follow Hilary Clinton for any reason, and the damning emails released as part of the DNC hack, which many of them were faked, helped cement the narrative that the “fix was in.” These people would speak up during the many times that Trump did something stupid since he “won” the election, and proclaim, in the dankest of memes and most hipsterish voice possible, “Bernie would’ve won.”

No, he fucking wouldn’t.

He would’ve lost, and I doubt it would have been close. Hell, Trump might have even won the popular vote against Bernie Sanders.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually like Bernie and voted for him in the Democratic Primary, but in retrospect, if he had won the primary, it would’ve been ugly.

Why? If America wasn’t “ready” for a woman President, what about an Atheist Socialist Jew?

Let’s take a look at Bernie Sanders.

An Independent Senator from Vermont, he’s been in the Senate since 2007 after serving as their Representative in Congress from 1991. He’s a former Mayor of Burlington, Vermont, and has been a political outsider and champion of human rights most of his life. He protested for Civil Rights back in the 1960’s and was even arrested. He was there for Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have A Dream” speech in Washington. The only time he was a member of the Democratic Party was when he ran for President in 2016 against Hilary Clinton.

THE NARRATIVE

The story that spread through the news like wildfire was that Bernie was kept from receiving the nomination for the Democratic Party because he wasn’t an insider, and that the system was rigged from the beginning to prevent him from winning, and had he ran, he would’ve beaten Donald Trump, and none of our problems would be taking place, because there would have been a “Blue Wave” through the Congress and Senate as well.

Let’s break that down, point by point.

First, Bernie is not, and for most of his life, was not a member of the Democratic Party. Unlike Clinton, he hadn’t spent the last 30 years raising money for them, or campaigning for them. So this part that he’s an outsider is true.

Second, that the system was rigged against him. If by that they mean, “he lost to Hilary by millions of votes” then yes, it was rigged.

Next, things get interesting. Let’s assume for a moment that Bernie had won the nomination, and he’s going up against Donald Trump, who rode a wave of racist, isolationist, populist voters to the nomination of the Republican Party.

It would have been a candidate in his 70’s, of questionable long term health, who had refused to release his tax records before the campaign started, and was elected by the fringe elements of one of the main parties in the United States, with some dubious ties to Russians…

Versus Donald Trump.

Yep. Bernie has his own skeletons, many of which mirror Trump. Bernie didn’t release his taxes, his wife is under investigation for fraud, he has historically not supported sanctions against Russia, and was elected by the fringes of the Left Wing, which, it turns out, was astroturfed by the Russians during the Primary, and even the General Election in 2016.

PUTIN’S WET DREAM

Why do I keep saying that? For anyone that forgets Junior High Health Class, a nocturnal emission, or wet dream, is when a person orgasms in their sleep, usually from a sexual fantasy. A good cure for it is jerking off. Although that does make this analogy fall apart, unless one considers his work screwing with Ukraine and Brexit as foreplay for the United States.

Anyway, Putin’s ultimate fantasy is to make himself the most powerful man in the world. He can’t do that with a strong United States aligned against him. What’s the fastest way to erode the standing of the United States?

Make it look like Democracy and Laws don’t work by staging an election with two extremes against each other, leaving the vast majority of people out of the conversation, and twist the argument further by stoking both sides against each other. This would create even further divisions in an already divisive situation.

RACISM AND RELIGION TAKE FRONT STAGE

So, go back to the point of “Bernie would’ve won.” Remember all of the crap that Hilary went through in the campaign? Every move of hers was examined through a looking glass, as though she couldn’t do anything right, meanwhile Trump committed so many blunders on the trail, yet still got a free pass from the media, giving him an air of legitimacy.

Ignoring the fact that she’s a woman, Hilary Clinton was the most qualified candidate for President in a very long time. She was an established lawyer, former First Lady, and the first First Lady to actually use her position as a political one. She was a Two-Term Senator from New York, ran for President once before, and was Secretary of State for 4 years. The only two nominees since the 1980’s who were more qualified were George H. W. Bush and Al Gore, and they were each Vice President for eight years.

Several dog whistles were made at Hilary because she was a woman. Everything from “Does she have the stamina” to the Nasty Woman comments, and that was from Trump during the debates! The vile online was hundreds of times worse.

So, imagine what the reaction from the Alt-Right and Neo-Nazis would have been to an Atheist Jew from New England. Think they would’ve treated him with kid gloves?

Hell no.

And the media wouldn’t have given him a fair shake, either. Atheists are historically some of the least-trusted people, simply because they don’t believe in any god. Polls have gotten better over the years, but they’re still ranked lower on the general trustworthiness scale than pedophiles and terrorists. Apparently, people in the Bible Belt would rather their children be left with a child molester that believes in their god than with someone who is neither religious nor touches kids inappropriately.

A lot of this came around during Barack Obama’s run with talk that he was somehow both a Muslim (a member of a religion) and an Atheist (a non-religious person).

Bernie would have been dragged through the mud for being a Jew (a person with Jewish ancestors) and an Atheist.

WHY TALK ABOUT THIS NOW?

This past week, there was a concerted effort to bring up the DNC story, and try to have that take center stage to deflect from the negative stories coming out, and that it would distract the public from the other DNC story that came out Friday. I covered this a little bit in Daily Check-In 11/3/2017. What I didn’t cover were some of the reactions on Twitter. I wasn’t on Twitter that much last year, and the few times I did use it, I wasn’t following former spies, journalists, and politicians.

The spies don’t like Bernie. Not one bit. They’ve seen more than a few people connected to his team that were connected to Trump’s actions, and they report that there were more than a few communications between known Russian agents and Bernie’s team. One of the more damning things that they point to was that Bernie and some of his closest surrogates were pushing the DNC Mail story the day before Wikileaks released the mails. I think that there could be a better explanation for all of this, but then again, I try to find the simplest explanation all of the time, and “The Russians Did It” only works when it is the best answer to fit the evidence.

Then again, I’m reminded of how much Russia played both sides of every argument in the last couple years. They would organize events for both sides of a divisive issue at the same time, and many of the people who pushed Pro-Bernie propaganda would join the Trump Train.

That’s it for tonight, I think. I’ll try to find out more about the Paradise Papers. This is like the Panama Papers, but also directly implicates Wilbur Ross in a deal where he owns a substantial stake of a shipping company with Putin’s son-in-law. Also, the Paradise Papers show that Yuri Milner, a friend of Jared Kushner, was possibly a go-between for the Russian Government and investments in Twitter of $191 Million and of $1 Billion in Facebook.

Thank you, and have a good one.

Indictment Eve

I’m writing this on Sunday, October 29th, 2017, at around 8pm EST.

On a Sunday Night.

Normally, on Sunday Night, I would write about one of the hundred or so ideas I’ve got on the list, like about the red herring of voter fraud or life in the echo chamber, but tonight is different.

On Friday, just as I was wrapping up the Daily Check-In 10/27/2017, news came that indictments were coming in from Mueller’s team, and could be executed as early as Monday.

That’s tomorrow.

Tonight is the night before indictments could be served. Indictment Eve.

Quick refresher: an indictment is when a Grand Jury returns a recommendation that there is probable cause that a crime was committed. This recommendation is then given to the prosecutor of the case, usually a District Attorney or Assistant DA, and they’ll coordinate either with Law Enforcement to arrest the target of the indictment, or work with the target themselves to broker a deal, like a plea bargain or become a witness in a larger crime.

There are indictments, as a direct result of the Russian Investigation.

But what’s going to happen? Let me run through a few ideas, about what I think will happen, what won’t happen, and why things are about to get really fucking weird.

OPTION 1: NOTHING HAPPENS TOMORROW

I don’t think this will actually be the case, but I’ve gotten used to disappointment in my life. When my hopes get raised, they have a bad habit of getting crushed.

I’m afraid that this could be a repeat of the Dan Rather Disinformation Op that ended his career at CBS. He had a sure-fire story about how George W. Bush abused the system to avoid going to combat in Vietnam, but it turned out that the story he ran with was a fake. That fake killed any and all chances of anyone else reporting on W’s Vietnam history, even though there was a legit story there.

OPTION 2: ONE OR TWO KNOWN NAMES GET TAGGED

There’s been talk for months about Paul Manafort being indicted, and Mike Flynn was the first name to get everything going with his Turkish and Russian connections. Roger Stone completely lost his shit on Twitter this weekend, resulting in a ban, and Carter Page is the Sheldon Cooper of treason.

In a traditional investigation, arrests would be made of the small fish, and they would be turned to get the bigger fish. While those names are some pretty big fish, they are bass. Mueller wants a whale.

OPTION 3: TRICKLE-DOWN INDICTMENTS

Notice what I said in that last paragraph, “In a traditional investigation.” This is nowhere near traditional. There is a good chance that Donald Trump will try to pardon those around him, try to pardon himself, and fire the team bringing the indictments.

One way to prevent those from happening is to indict Donald Trump right off the bat for Obstruction of Justice. Multiple indictments can be unsealed at different times, but there’s more than enough evidence, just from Open Source Intelligence (OSINT, think the press and what can be Googled), to bring Obstruction charges against him.

Doing this would not only tie his tiny little hands on using pardons, and give Congress a reason to bring Impeachment charges immediately, but any actions taken to fire Mueller would be immediately seen as criminal.

OPTION 4: THE FLOODGATES OPEN

Louise Mensch has a great write-up on many of the actors involved, and what they’re being investigated for. And that’s not even a complete list of all the rumors, whispers, and stories that have floated around that I’ve seen over the last several months. That’s not including staff members who are in hot water like Hope Hicks, Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee-Sanders, or Wilbur Ross, or half the cabinet members who are up to their necks in their own scandals.

Serving indictments to the President, VP, SecState, SecTreasury, Speaker of the House, Senate Majority Leader, two White House staffers that are children of the President, and several staffers and support personnel at once would be completely unprecedented.

Then again, so is a person winning the Presidency with the help of the Russians.

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND

If anyone takes any unexpected trips or travels this week, Like Jared Kushner taking an unannounced trip to Saudi Arabia, should have an eye kept on it. Might be nothing, but then again, it’s Indictment Eve. The night of the year when emergency trips are made, passports are frozen, and warrants for arrest are made to people leaving their families behind.

I wouldn’t be surprised if there is an early morning raid on Monday. This whole investigation has looked like a crime family going down, not like a bunch of bank executives going down for embezzlement. @lauferlaw and @Alt_Spicerlies brought this idea up a few moments ago, and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Scooter Libby didn’t get a perp walk, and most of the people arrested in Watergate were given the chance to turn themselves in. I doubt that same courtesy will be given to most of the members from Team Trump.

Also, here’s my weirdest prediction for this whole affair. Someone, I’m not sure but I’m thinking Carter Page or one of Pence’s staffers, will pull an will pull an R. Budd Dwyer at a press conference, and it won’t even be the craziest thing that happens that day.

Don’t be surprised if this whole thing spreads across all of Washington. People all over the place are going down. 2017 has been pretty fucking weird so far, and the people I mentioned above inferred that others might be implicated that we never heard of, especially some Democrats in power.

Finally, expect Trump to try to fire Mueller in some kind of Hail Mary move to save his ass. And it expect it to fail. There are two ways he can try this. The first would be to fire Jeff Sessions as Attorney General, Rod Rosenstein as Deputy Attorney General, Dana Boente, and all the way down to Rachel Brand, or further if she won’t fire Mueller. The second way would be to fire Jeff Sessions, and immediately try naming a current member of the Cabinet to replace him, bypassing the Senate confirmation process. I highlighted that here in Lateral Movement, but I don’t think it would work. Any chance that Trump has of even trying this end around has to be done before the indictments are served. Any actions taken after Monday Morning will likely be interpreted as criminal.

This is a nation of laws, not of men, or wealth, or personality. Laws and Justice. There’s a phrase that I heard a while back, Fiat Justitia Ruat Caellum. It’s Latin for “Let Justice Be Done, Though the Heavens Fall.”

Sounds like someone’s yelling “TIMBER!”

Good night, sleep tight. Take a deep breath, things are about to get really fucking weird.

Keeping Hope Alive

Sometimes, this gets difficult. Really freaking difficult.

Not just the writing, or the research. Not keeping track of all of the things that happened each day.

The hardest thing is keeping hope.

All around us, on the news, on Facebook and Twitter, is nothing but negativity.

Hatred, violence, bigotry, misogyny.

That’s not even counting the incompetence, paranoia, and fear emanating from politics.

The fear that this country, our society, our civilization, might be coming to an end.

But, there is hope.

Everyday, people are out and about doing good deeds, whether or not they’re seen.

More people are speaking out against the hatred and bigotry than ever before.

People are finally bringing truth to power, forcing corruption from it’s safe spaces in the shadows, into the light. Corruption cannot exist in the light.

Dozens of Neo-Nazis show up to a rally, only to be met by THOUSANDS who say NO MORE! NOT HERE! NOT ANYWHERE!

More people are getting involved than ever before to raise their voices against corruption and greed.

And then, there are those in the shadows fighting shadows.

They’re crawling through the muck and the grime to bring those dirty secrets to light. Secrets of grift, corruption, vice, and avarice. Every dirty little secret, they make it their mission to make sure the world knows.

And they make sure that these secrets get out for everyone to see. Whether through their own efforts, or the efforts of journalists, they tell the story.

But it’s not just the bad news that these warriors release. They release good news, too.

They tell people how far along investigations are, who’s being looked at, and who’s in a big world of hurt.

Most of them will never be known. Sometimes, years later, they’re known, but not often. Most of them have too much at risk to tell the world what they did. Even if they are known, they’ll deny it.

These are some of the people I think about when I’m low on hope and optimism. The people risking themselves in this information war, to bring down a corrupt administration, and let justice prevail.

Fiat Justitia Raut Caellum. Let justice be done, though the heavens fall.

This is not a country of political parties, or personalities, or of men, or wealth. This is a nation of laws. Nobody is above the law. Sometimes as Americans, we need to relearn this lesson from time to time.

Winston Churchill once said “Americans will always do the right thing. They’ll just do everything else first.” I honestly believe that. We will do right, we will fix this, and then we will take steps to prevent this from happening again.

That’s what helps drive me, what helps me to keep hope. Because we’re Americans. We’re not going to let this fall apart. We do a lot of stupid shit, but we also can be brilliant at the same time. Sometimes, at the exact same thing.

We’ll get through this. Of that, I can be optimistic.