Screwing Up Turkey Day

In the United States, this week is Thanksgiving. It’s a time to stand back and give thanks for what one has. This is immediately followed by Black Friday, a day where people covet what their neighbor has, and they go out to buy unwanted things for people they don’t like with money they don’t have.

Part of Thanksgiving Week is the Traditional Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation. This includes the Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon. It’s a ceremony where the President selects a turkey to be spared from butchers block.

It’s a very lighthearted affair, and is literally the easiest thing that a President does all year. Only a complete and total idiot with no sense of empathy or social mores could fuck this up.

That being said, I’m wondering how will Donald Trump fuck this up?

Now, I don’t hope that he embarrasses himself, he does that enough every day. I just want to list as many ways that I think Trump can screw this up. Of course, I will miss what actually happens because, even with as vivid as my imagination is, I’ll miss what actually happens.

There is no order to this list, just how it comes to mind.

HOW DONALD TRUMP WILL FUCK UP THE TURKEY PARDON

  • He cancels the event because he’s not feeling good.
  • He confuses Turkey the bird with Turkey the country.
  • He pardons a series of turkeys, that are actually his family, Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, and Mike Flynn dressed in turkey costumes.
  • He screws up that, and his family eats Paul Manafort for dinner.
  • He names a turkey Hilary, then is caught on a hot mic saying “I’m gonna eat that bitch.”
  • He makes some disparaging and borderline racist comments about Native Americans.
  • The comments aren’t even remotely borderline.
  • He makes some racist comments about Senator Elizabeth Warren.
  • He bitches about Indian Casinos.
  • He confuses Indians with Native Americans. This involves jokes about casinos and tech support.
  • He answers questions from reporters about Al Franken, Russia, or Nazis.
  • He answers those questions honestly.
  • He tries to pardon his co-conspirators.
  • He uses the Turkey Pardon to initiate his own version of the Saturday Night Massacre in an attempt to fire Robert Mueller.
  • Someone gets arrested at the ceremony.
  • Trump makes a bunch of “gobble, gobble” noises.
  • He says something about eating reporters or children.
  • He casually confirms some of the worst rumors from the Steele Dossier.
  • Bonus points if it’s the pee tape.
  • Double bonus points if he admits that the girls in the tape were underage.
  • Triple bonus points if he then follows that up with defending Roy Moore and/or condemning Al Franken.
  • Quadruple points if he says “so what”.
  • He casually makes reference to cannibalism.
  • He says that Turkey is his third favorite food behind human flesh and McDonalds.
  • Human flesh is second to a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
  • He goes on a rant about Mexicans, saying that tacos don’t belong in a Thanksgiving feast.

And the absolute worst thing to happen…

  • Trump doesn’t screw this up, and the media trips over themselves congratulating him on a job well done and saying he’s finally acting presidential.

Daily Check-In 11/17/2017

Friday. Time for the News Dump.

MORE THAN A DOZEN TRUMP CAMPAIGN OFFICIALS SUBPOENAED BY MUELLER

Following up on a story from yesterday, NBC confirms that at least a dozen members of the Trump Campaign have been served subpoenas as recent as mid-October.

The timing is the key. Mid-October was after George Papadopoulos pled guilty to lying to the FBI, but before Manafort and Gates were arrested.

TRUMP TOWERS IN PANAMA AND FLORIDA HAVE DEEP CONNECTIONS TO MONEY LAUNDERING

NBC News reports that the Trump Ocean Club Project in Panama was a hotbed for money laundering.

Trump licensed his name on this project, so there might be some separation between them and illegal activities. However, it’s more than a little suspicious.

Along with Russian Mafia and Drug Cartels, the Terrorist group FARC laundered their money into Trump Ocean Club in Panama.

Also making the news wire, more information about Russian investments into Trump properties in Miami.

Here is the original report.  Read it.  It’s definitely worth the time.

I wonder if any of his family is tied up in this game.

 

IVANKA TRUMP IMPLICATED IN PANAMA MONEY LAUNDERING

Ivanka ran the Panama Project from its inception, and hired the top sales producer.

Don’t let Kremlin Barbie fool you.  She’s just as dirty as anyone else in this whole project.  How in the Crystal Pepsi Flavored Fuck does a person not get curious about how a top salesperson makes hundreds of millions of dollars in sales without being a little bit curious.

 

JARED KUSHNER EMAILED MILLIAN AND PAPADOPOULOS ABOUT WIKILEAKS

Jared Kushner mailed about setting up a back channel meeting with Moscow with Papadopoulos and Sergei Millian.

Millian was supposedly one of the sources in the Steele Dossier.

 

PAPADOPOULOS HAD PHONE CALL WITH TRUMP, WAS GIVEN ‘BLANK CHECK’ FOR SENIOR POSITION

George Papadopoulos had a phone conversation with Trump.

From the article:

    George Papadopoulos claimed last year that Donald Trump telephoned him to discuss his new position as a foreign policy adviser to his presidential campaign and that the two had at least one personal introductory meeting that the White House has not acknowledged.

    Papadopoulos also claimed that he’d been given a “blank check” to choose a senior Trump administration job and authorized to represent the candidate in overseas meetings with foreign leaders, and at a campaign event in New York.

    “Everyone knows I helped him [get] elected, now I want to help him with the presidency,”

 

VALENTINES DAY: TRUMP ASKED COMEY TO LET FLYNN GO AFTER KNOWING ABOUT TURKISH CONTACTS

Mike Flynn was fired before Valentine’s Day. Trump met with Comey on or after Valentine’s Day, asking him to not go after Mike Flynn.

This is after everyone in the White House was informed about his connections to Russia and Turkey.  It sounds like Trump tried to prevent an investigation into a friend.  That is a textbook example of Obstruction of Justice.

 

STEELE LEFT MUELLER A CLUE

Check the values of the loans.  That’s what Christopher Steele told a reporter last December if he wanted to understand how Trump colluded with Russia.

That little tidbit may have been enough to point Mueller’s team in the right direction.

 

NEW YORK OBSERVER, OWNED BY KUSHNER, WAS VERY FRIENDLY TO WIKILEAKS

The New York Observer last year became very friendly with Julian Assange and Wikileaks, even gaining a one-on-one interview.

What makes this interesting is that for a paper focused on New York business culture, international intrigue wasn’t in their wheelhouse.

Oh, did I mention that Jared Kushner owns the Observer, and that these overtures came AFTER Junior forwarded Jared Twitter direct messages from Julian Assange?

 

FARA GAINS A NEW SET OF TEETH

FARA, the Foreign Agent Registration Act, has long been viewed as a joke of a law. That is, until Bobby Three Sticks came to town.

FARA is low-hanging fruit in the legal community, and has been seldom enforced in the last 50 years.  However, with Mueller charging both Manafort and Gates with failing to register with FARA, and with the ease that it can be proved, many lobbyists in Washington are more than a little nervous.

 

GOLDSTONE READY TO MEET MUELLER

Rob Goldstone, the publicist who arranged the June 9 Trump Tower Meeting, is willing and ready to meet with Robert Mueller, per sources close to the Brit.

He was the initial contact with Trump Jr., and was instrumental in getting the Miss Universe pageant to Moscow in 2013, when the supposed pee-tape took place.  He knows more than he lets on.

 

DOLLAR SLIPS AS INVESTIGATION ENTERS WHITE HOUSE

For the second week in a row, the dollar has weakened.  This is on fears that the Russian Investigation is making its way into the White House, and will cause market instability.

One of the factors that will cause a massive push towards Impeachment will be if the economy starts to tank.  If the dollar falters, so does the party in power.

 

TRUMP INAUGURATION COMMITTEE FUNDS MISSING

Nobody has a clue where millions of dollars from the Inauguration Committee went.

Considering that Rick Gates was a senior member of the committee, and was recently arrested for money laundering, he would be a good person to ask.

 

FREE PRESS BOARD READY TO CUT TIES WITH WIKILEAKS

The Free Press Board is ready to dump Wikileaks. What used to be viewed, at least in the mainstream media, as a bastion of the free press, has been exposed as an Anti-American, Anti-Democratic, Pro-Russian propaganda device, and that does not sit well with the board.  They are ready to cut ties with Wikileaks, further marginalizing them.

 

ROGER STONE KNEW ABOUT AL FRANKEN SCANDAL BEFORE IT BROKE

If I were a conspriatorial man, finding weird patterns in seemingly unrelated events in the news, I’d say Roger Stone knew about and coordinated the Al Franken mess.

Wait, that is EXACTLY what I’m saying.  I’m thinking as part distraction, part discrediting, but completely intentional.

He could have gotten away with it, too, if the prick didn’t tweet about it the night before Al’s accuser came forward.

 

IRONY COMMITTED SUICIDE. TRUMP TWEETS ABOUT AL FRANKEN

Donald Trump, a man who has been accused of sexual assualt at least 17 times, condemed the actions of Al Franken.

Let that sink in for a bit.  Mr. Grab’em by the Pussy is talking about how horrible of a person Al Franken is, and how he should resign from office.

Irony, seeing that it had nothing to live for, put a shiny pistol in its mouth and blew its head off.  In its suicide note, Irony listed the names of the 17 women who accused Donald Trump of sexual assault.

 

KAYLA MOORE: TRUMP OWES US A THANK YOU

It takes a special kind of evil and arrogance to think that defending a child molester is worthy of praise.Kayla Moore, the wife of Roy Moore, thinks that Donald Trump owes them a thank you, for distracting the media from Russia for a few days.

Keep in mind, this is the woman who is badgering and slandering the women that have accused her husband of sexually assaulting them, has forged multiple documents claiming to be in support of her cause, and has used their personal charity as an ATM to bypass personal income taxes.

 

JARED KUSHNER STILL WORKING ON AN INTERIM SECURITY CLEARANCE

For some reason, I don’t think he’ll be approved for a permanent one.  Not before he’s indicted, anyway.

 

This just in…

INVESTIGATORS LOOKING INTO JUNE 2017 MEETING IN MOSCOW, CONNECTED TO JUNE 2016!TRUMP TOWER MEETING

That’s it for today. Ok, one more story…

US NAVY ADMITS AN AIRCREW DREW A PENIS IN THE AIR.

Yeah, that happened. A flight crew used their jet stream to draw a gentleman’s sausage over the Washington skies.

Thank you, and have a good one.

“Without Journalists, it’s just propaganda.”

– Katy Tur

Daily Check-In 11/16/2017

Thursday

Mueller subpoenaed Trump Team for Russia-Related Documents

This story just came across the wire, but this is big.

Mueller subpoenaed the Trump Team for any documents related to their contacts with Russians during the 2016 election.

I know I’ve talked about this before, or at least it sounds like it, but this is a little different.

First, it’s proof that a subpoena has been issued against people currently in the White House.

Second, Mueller feels like they’re not getting everything. Before now, the campaign team has been voluntarily sharing information, but if they’re getting subpoenaed, it’s bad. Subpoenas are used for two reasons by prosecutors. They gain new information, and they show what is being withheld.

Finally, look at the timing. Mid-October. Before the Manafort arrest, but after George Papadopoulos pleading guilty to lying to the FBI.

What I think happened was that George provided them with a ton of information, and when they realized that Trump was holding out, they issued this subpoena.

Kushner Received Wikileaks Mails

Speaking of subpoenas, the Senate Judiciary Committee gave one to Jared Kushner.

Why?

Because Jared didn’t share his emails about Wikileaks with them.

How do they know about those mails? Not only were they mentioned in the news, but they have copies of those mails from other people. They have copies that Jared sent to others, and from other people sent to Jared.

He’s not that good at this, is he?

Chuck Johnson, The Go-Between

Chuck Johnson is a name we’ll hear a lot more going forward. He was the go-between for Julian Assange and Roger Stone. He arranged a meeting between Assange and Dana Rohrbacher to discuss a possible pardon.

And Chuck also worked on the campaign.

Trump Worth 1/10 of Stated Value

This isn’t such a surprise given Trump’s personality and history, but after studying his revenue streams, Trump’s New York Business has been externally valued at far less than what Trump has claimed.

Hope Hicks, Jared Kushner to be Interviewed Soon

Two high level members of the White House are set to interview with Mueller’s team in the next week. Hope Hicks and Jared Kushner.

Prosecutors don’t ask questions without knowing the answers ahead of time. At this point, they are setting a trap for them, baiting them for a lie.

My guess is that Hope tells the truth, but Jared lies.

Flipping the Turk

This is worth checking out. One of the people in a December 2016 meeting with Mike Flynn and Turkish Representatives was indicted several weeks ago in Southern District New York.

Earlier this week, that man was released on his own recognizance. It could be nothing, but the Rumor Mill is buzzing about this. This could be a cooperating witness against Flynn, Rudy, and a few others.

Wait and see.

Senator Al Franken Accused of Inappropriate Sexual Behavior

Al Franken was accused of sexual assault and harassment while on a USO tour in 2006.

Short version: one of his comedy sketch ideas involved a kiss, and there was a photo of him “groping” a woman while sleeping.

Al’s Response is Here. He accepts responsibility, knowing that sometimes his comedy ideas are in bad taste years later, and he calls for an ethics investigation on himself.

The Multiple Times Trump has been Accused of Rape

Just in case anyone has forgotten.

That’s it for today. I’m not sure what’s coming tomorrow, but I’ve got a feeling it’ll be unexpected. Also, I’m trying a different format tonight. Partially to see how it looks, and mostly because by the time I realized I did it this way, I was already halfway through the article. Oh well.

Thank you, and have a good one.

Daily Check-In 11/15/2017

HSIOW. Holy Shit, It’s Only Wednesday

MORE WOMEN COME FORWARD ACCUSING ROY MOORE OF DATING THEM WHILE THEY WERE TEENAGERS

The sixth and seventh women have come forward, accusing Roy Moore of hitting on them while they were teenagers and he was in his thirties.

We are well past the point of random coincidence. Combined with further details that he was banned from the Gasden Mall for his constant and continued harassment of the underage girls working there, and that the YMCA banned him from their premises after he solicited girls for sex (yes, you read that right), he is a Grade A Creep.

This puts every single decision of his under scrutiny. Every judicial action gets a look. Every comment, every stance that he’s made in public gets thrown under a microscope.

This is on top of his shady, and likely illegal actions with his charity that he uses like an ATM.

By the way, his wife has gone on the offensive against the women accusing her husband of chasing after girls. She’s gone after them on social media, lying all over. And those lies are easily disproved, like saying that the restaurant that one woman worked at didn’t exist in 1977 when it did, or forging a letter of endorsement from 53 pastors by changing the date and text of the letter to reflect current events, or that the yearbook signature was a forgery.

By the way, Kayla Moore, then Kalya Kisor, was Classmates with Beverly Nelson, the fifth accuser.

I shit you not.

STEELE DOSSIER “70-90% ACCURATE”, SOURCES WERE NOT PAID

According to The Guardian, the Steele Dossier is “70-90% accurate.”

Before anyone gets their panties in a twist and scream “so, it’s wrong!”, let me explain how this works.

The Steele Dossier is a Raw Intelligence document, meant to serve as a guide to more in-depth raw and unrefined information. It uses sources like HUMINT (human intelligence, like investigative work), RUMINT (rumored intelligence, like gossip), and SIGINT (signals intelligence, like intercepted calls and mails).

Think of it like a first draft treatment for a novel or screenplay. A lot of the basics are there, like the main characters, plot points, and general settings, but things can change between the first draft and final version. Minor characters get combined or dropped, or a scene gets moved from Kiev to Milan due to … reasons.

Another important story about the Dossier is that Congress told the Trump Administration that none of the sources were paid.

This is important for two reasons.

First, one of the big talking points used to discredit it was that the sources were paid, and their testimony should be discarded.

Second, because the sources weren’t paid, and many of them may have even been killed, this information gains a little it more substance.

This increase in chatter about the Dossier could mean that something about it is likely to drop, perhaps some new piece is about to get verified. It could be nothing, but then again, Several pieces have already been confirmed.

UNITED KINGDOM CONFIRMS RUSSIAN CYBERATTACKS, 150,000 TROLL ACCOUNTS USED IN BREXIT

The Russians have attacked the IT infrastructure of several British utilities and other infrastructure . These attacks are not the first time that Russia has incurred into British sovereignty. Their role in Brexit is still being uncovered. Over 150,000 Twitter accounts were used by the Russians in support of Brexit.

SIX DEMOCRATS INTRODUCE ARTICLES OF IMPEACHMENT AGAINST DONALD TRUMP

Oh, by the way, This just happened. Multiple Articles of Impeachment were filed today against Donald Trump.

Don’t get too excited, we’re nowhere near the endgame yet.

These are preliminary moves to build a paper trail, and serve as a signal for others. As support for impeachment grows, more politicians will jump on board.

There were several attempts made at impeaching Nixon before he eventually resigned.

Remember, Mueller is still investigating Trump and hasn’t returned any indictments against him…yet.

That’s it for today.

Thank you, and have a good one.

“Without Journalists, it’s just propaganda.”

– Katy Tur