NOTE: I started writing this during the Oscar ceremony, but came down with a headache halfway through, so I called it a night. That’s why it starts off the way it does.
Oscar Night.
It’s that time of year again where people sit around and watch actors and actresses star in movies that most people haven’t seen, usually about the human condition like forbidden love stories between a woman and a fish, or a man in his 30’s with a teenage boy, or character pieces about world leaders in trying times, or about telling about how hard life is, yet so inspirational at the same time. Meanwhile, the movies that people have seen only show up in technical categories, because movies about superheroes fighting an alien Kurt Russel isn’t as “good” as a movie about billboards in a small town.
It’s also a night where people talk about movies that challenged the status quo, or point out hypocrisy. Movies about bringing truth to power, and highlighting those that fought against tyranny.
So, at some point in the future, there will be a movie made about Trump and Russia. Probably several movies. And an HBO series. And a Netflix series. Maybe some porn parodies, too.
Some of them will be serious as a heart attack, others will be light-hearted. Others will be big “FUCK YOU” to Trump.
Tonight, I’m going to case three movies. I will cast a serious movie, a comedy movie, and a FUCK YOU movie. The plot points aren’t as important, but if there’s anything crazy for one of them, I’ll point it out.
Also, while looks are somewhat important, it’s the essence of the performance that makes more impact. For example, James Comey is 6’8″ (a solid 2 meters tall), but it’s easier to use camera tricks to get someone to look taller than it is to find a great actor who’s that tall.
SERIOUS FILM
A story about the election, Russia, and the team that investigated what happened.
Hillary Clinton – Allison Janey
Robert Mueller – Willem Dafoe
Steve Bannon – Nick Offerman
James Comey – Michael Shannon
Vladimir Putin – Kevin Spacey Yes, I know he’s on the shit list right now, but a small role as a villain could be right up his alley.
COMEDY FILM
A day in the life of the Trump Administration. Imagine “The West Wing” meets The Peter Principle.
Donald Trump – Tom Cruise
John Kelly – J. K. Simmons
Steve Bannon – Eric Roberts I was going to go with Nick Offerman here, but the thought of Emma Roberts as Hope Hicks getting into a screaming match with her real life father made me giggle.
Ivanka Trump – Margot Robbie
Hope Hicks – Emma Roberts
Jared Kushner – Eddie Redmayne
Barack Obama – Keegan-Michael Key
FUCK YOU FILM
A story of forbidden love between a father and daughter, set against the disastrous backdrop of the Trump Presidency. (Warning: There is a “love” scene in which Ivanka pegs Donald, while Jared watches)
Donald Trump – Kevin Hart
Ivanka Trump – Leslie Jones
Jared Kushner – Haley Joel Osment
Barack Obama – LeBron James
That’s it for today. Things are building up from over the weekend, and there’s some big shit flying today already.
I’ll update this more over time, as I flush out the stories and characters.
None of this is Normal 