Trust

Trust. It’s a funny thing. Trust is fragile. It takes a long time to build, a ton of effort to maintain, and can be destroyed in seconds. Once it’s gone, trust can be next to impossible to rebuild, and jades us against others trying to help. Just ask a spouse that was cheated on how long it took them to trust again.

The past two weeks have seen the destruction of that trust for a lot of people in this country when it comes to the police. There have been hundreds of cases of police brutality documented for the world to see. Police dressed in military gear firing tear gas into crowds of unarmed black people, police firing at journalists, police destroying medic tents. And those just the war crimes. That doesn’t include the normal levels of brutality that black people see every day. White people are seeing this for the first time, and it’s not just from one or two cops but from nearly every city around the country. How can there be that many one-offs on bad cops? They keep telling us it’s just a few bad apples. Keep in mind that the whole phrase goes “A few bad apples spoil the bunch.” If there are bad apples in every bunch, what does that say about the bunch?

People are losing trust with cops. Well, some people. Black people didn’t trust the cops at all, and for good reason. Police are one of the leading causes of death for black men in this country. But now even white people are losing trust in the police.

We’re sick and tired of the triple standard of American Justice. We’re sick and tired of seeing rich people treated one way for a crime, white people another, and black people a completely different way. We’re sick and tired of watching shitty people with badges literally get away with murder because they came up with a good enough story to cover their asses. We’re sick and tired of reading headlines like “Young unarmed man on knees shot 55 times by police” or “Black woman shot in bed by police executing no-knock raid at wrong address.”

The law enforcement community has broken the trust of the American people. From letting rich people get away with stealing millions of dollars to firing on unarmed black protesters while letting heavily armed white people storm state capitol buildings, to their continued actions of evading justice for their crimes, law enforcement hasn’t exactly given the citizens much to cheer about.

As I said, trust is a funny thing. If one person, party, or member of a group breaks that trust, it becomes damn near impossible for the offended party to trust anyone even tangentially related. So if one cop shoots a journalist with a rubber bullet causing them to go blind, all members of the department look bad. That lack of trust hurts everyone.

Trust can be rebuilt, but it’s not easy. The offending party has to go above and beyond to rebuild the trust they destroyed. The worse the act, the more they have to do to get even a shred of that trust back.

Considering how the law enforcement community has failed the citizens of this country, the onus of rebuilding trust lies solely on their shoulders. Changes have to be made in how police work in America happens, from the top officers to the lowest officers, and from Maine to Hawaii, from the NYPD all the way down to the local township that only has one part time officer. I’m not naive enough to think that these changes will come without some outside intervention from lawmakers, but some concessions have to be made.

Here’s some changes that I’ve thought of over the last bit of time. Some I’ve thought about for a few minutes, a few days, or a few decades. This isn’t comprehensive by any stretch, but it’s a start.

RESTRICT OR ELIMINATE QUALIFIED IMMUNITY

Qualified Immunity is a legal practice that gives police the ability to excuse even the worst actions. It’s ugly. It allows for the police to challenge any complaints against them on constitutional grounds, stating that it is their right to do whatever the hell they deem necessary to do their jobs. The way it works is that unless a case involving bad police behavior happened in the same jurisdiction and had similar facts and that the police behavior was challenged on constitutional grounds, they can do whatever they want.

Qualified Immunity literally puts police above the law they are sworn to uphold. This needs to be severely restricted, if not eliminated completely. While there is an argument for some cases of keeping QI in a limited capacity, for the general police force it needs to be eliminated. The argument for keeping it rests on whether or not a police officer is allowed to break the law while upholding the law. For example, an undercover cop needs to have some leeway with the law so that they can do their job without raising suspicion and blowing their cover. Or, a police officer that sees a baby trapped in a car needs to be able to break out the window to save the baby. But QI should not be used to cover up claims of abuse, using excessive force, or stealing from suspects.

ENACT UNIVERSAL RULES OF ENGAGEMENT THAT ARE STRICTER THAN THE U.S. MILITARY

The United States Military, like every other military in the world, operates under a code of what to do, when to do it, and how to escalate when things go wrong. There are steps they have to go through before they can exercise lethal force. These are codified as Rules of Engagement.

It’ll shock most people to learn that many police officers don’t have ROE’s. This is determined by the department or maybe by the state, but many places do not have codified ROE’s.

The Law Enforcement Community (LEC) needs to standardize and adopt Rules of Engagement for every police officer, and make these rules known to citizens as well. We need to know our rights and whether or not a police officer is violating them. The use of deadly force MUST only be used as a last resort, when all other options have been exhausted.

REMOVE WEAPONS AND TACTICS FROM THE POLICE THAT ARE CONSIDERED WAR CRIMES

According to international treaty, the use of chemical weapons is banned. Attacking medics and targeting their supplies is a war crime. Yet police around the country in the past week attacked protestors with tear gas, pepper spray, and destroyed medical supplies and targeted protester medics.

These tactics and weapons need to be outlawed. There is no reason why weapons considered too dangerous for military use should be used on unarmed and untrained citizens.

GET RID OF MILITARY EQUIPMENT

While we’re on the subject of military stuff, the policy of giving the police surplus military gear needs to stop. Giving police officers the Army’s hand-me-downs has proven to be dangerous, and has led to escalations in violence.

INCREASE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR ALL OFFICERS AND SUPERVISORS

The year is 2020. We have cameras in phones, computers, toys, drones, hats, glasses, doorbells, pet collars, and glitter bombs. Cameras are everywhere. Police have body cams and dash cams. But they’re only effective when they’re working. There were too many instances of cameras being turned off during the riots. This doesn’t include the body cams that would “accidentally” shut off during an incident when a police officer allegedly abused someone. It’s almost like that footage would have proven that the officer was a piece of shit.

Going forward, all uniformed police officers must have their body cams on and recording at all times. If at all possible, similar standards should apply to plainclothes cops, though there are some exceptions to be considered. All police vehicles must have cameras that catch the perimeter of the vehicle. If the camera goes down, the officer is to do everything they can to reactivate it immediately or replace it with a backup they have available. Failure to do so will result in a 30 day suspension without pay.

Any police officer that covers their badge number should be suspended pending an investigation.

To make sure that the officers hold each other accountable, if a supervisor has multiple instances of officers concealing their identity or turning off their cameras, they will be punished as well. Each time one member of the precinct or division fails to activate their camera or covers up their badge, EVERYONE will have to go through training. Everyone.

All police departments must have independent review boards composed mostly of civilians, and have unfettered access to all police activity. There will be restrictions for active investigations, but these review boards must be able to see what the police are doing. These boards must be automatically included in any and all complaints of police abuse.

EXPAND TRAINING AND CERTIFICATION REQUIREMENTS FOR ALL PEACE OFFICERS

Did you know that the requirements to become a police office in Pennsylvania are less strict than that of a hairdresser? A police officer needs 859 hours of training to become certified while a hairdresser needs 1250. There are many other states where it is easier to become a cop than to braid hair.

The requirements to become a police officer need to expand, and should focus on weeding out the bullies and racists. Police officers should also be required to recertify every 3-5 years, and that process needs to include keeping up to date on process changes. Recertifications need to take into account their service record and focus on improving those skills. If their record shows multiple instances of violence, then their recertification should not be granted.

WEED OUT THE RACISTS AND BULLIES FROM THE POLICE FORCES

This cannot be said loud enough, but there are too many racists in police departments across the country. I’ve reported on this before but there are many white nationalist groups that have infiltrated local and even state police departments across the country. On top of that, there’s a lot of psychopaths that get a hard-on being all tough.

Going forward, reviews must be made of casework of individual officers and that work needs to be compared to similar cases. When the data is analyzed, in situations where there was a disproportionate response based on race, class, or amount of force used, those officers will be investigated. Also, tip lines must be in place to allow citizens to report when a police officer is found to have connections to hate groups like the KKK, 3 Percenters, Evropa, or Neo-Nazis.

REQUIRE OFFICERS, DEPARTMENTS, AND PRECINCTS TO CARRY INSURANCE AGAINST IMPROPER BEHAVIOR

Without qualified immunity, police officers could be liable for their actions. If a police officer, say, tases a pregnant woman causing her to lose her baby, that officer could be sued and be responsible for a very large payout in court. That’s kind of hard given their pay.

This should be treated just like doctors. Doctors and hospitals have malpractice insurance. This prevents the doctor from losing everything they’ve worked for because of one mistake.

Police officers, their precincts, and departments should be required to carry their version of malpractice insurance. Not only would this punish bad cops who keep getting complaints against them, but would reward good cops and precincts as they would have more money to spend. If a bad driver has to pay more to drive on the road, a bad cop should pay more to wear a badge.

CREATE DATABASES THAT CONTAIN POLICE COMPLAINTS, RECORDS, AND ACTIONS THAT ARE OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

Right now, we don’t know who are the bad cops and good cops. Even other cops don’t know. We as citizens only find out about a cop having a dozen abuse complaints against them after a tragedy occurs. That has to change.

Going forward, each state has to have it’s own database that includes basic non-privileged information on the police officer such as badge number, department, how long they’ve been on the force, how long they’ve been a cop in total, why they moved, have they had disciplinary actions taken against them, who accused them, what happened, and what was the final result. These databases have to be accessible to the public, most likely through a website that returns some info for free but explicit details might require payment. I’m thinking of the deeds office as an example.

KEEP BAD COPS OUT OF WORK, STOP THE CYCLE OF HIRING IN THE NEXT TOWN OVER

It’s bad enough that it’s next to impossible to fire a bad cop, but when they do get fired or quit before they get fired, they’ll pop up in another department. There was an incident around Pittsburgh within the past year or so where a cop was fired, hired at another department, and on his first day on the job shot and killed an unarmed young black man. It came out that this officer was fired for abusive behavior. Had there been an open database to search, it’s not likely he would have been hired again.

If a police officer is fired with cause, their certification should be suspended for 90 days pending review. That review will determine whether or not they should have their certification permanently revoked, temporarily suspended, further training is needed on problem areas, or their certification is restored. This information has to be available in the database listed above.

ELIMINATE THE CODE OF SILENCE FOR BAD BEHAVIOR

Cops are a different breed of people. Most of them are kind, caring people deep down who spend all day seeing people at their worst. Unfortunately, we’re not in this mess because of them, but their co-workers who are wastes of oxygen. But we don’t hear anything about how bad these cops truly are until a tragedy occurs.

Going forward, whistleblower protections need to be expanded and strengthened for police officers to encourage them to get rid of the bad apples. If an officer receives multiple complaints, their previous associates like supervisors and partners will also be investigated to see if this behavior was new, or if these other cops were covering up for them.

PENSIONS AND PROMOTIONS DEPEND ON PERFORMANCE

Very few jobs have a pension anymore, and those that do are a small percentage of their salary that is only available after the employee reaches retirement age. Cops on the other hand get a pretty nice pension. Their reward for eating a shit sandwich every day for 20 years is half their salary, and full salary after 30. This depends on the department, but a cop could retire from the force in their 40’s and receive half of their yearly base wages for the rest of their lives.

One of the factors going into the math for pensions and promotions will be the information that is publicly available. If a cop has multiple complaints of violence, that should affect how long they have to work to get and keep those benefits. Those complaints could add years on to how long they have to work to collect their full pension.

FORCE POLICE UNIONS TO ADHERE TO THESE CHANGES

These changes need to be enforced in all collective bargaining agreements going forward. If the union continues to underperform, they run the risk of losing their ability to organize.

These aren’t the only things that need to change, but this is what I came up with right now. I hope that we can get to work on changing things right away, but this is going to take a while. A large portion of Americans have never trusted the LEC, and a lot of people have seen that trust broken.

To be honest, I’m torn. I genuinely hate bad cops, I’m not torn about that. I’m torn about what this means for our country going forward, and my friends and family in the LEC. I’m torn because I see how much my fellow citizens are hurting on all sides. I’m finally understanding exactly how screwed black people have been all these years. I thought I knew, I had a pretty good idea, but I was off by quite a bit. It’s like climbing up a mountain and getting to what you thought was the summit, but was just the first base camp. At the same time, I see how hard this is on the LEC friends and family. They’re exhausted from constantly working and are now getting shit from people they never had problems with before. I’m torn because I don’t want to see any more people get hurt, but I know that we’ve got too far to go without people getting hurt.

You know what I’d love to see? Good cops calling out the bad cops. Don’t give us this bullshit about how good cops hate bad cops and then they don’t do shit about it. Publicly name and shame the assholes. Until then, those words about good cops ring hollow. It’s hard to think that good cops care about their community when they’re busy protecting the bad cops. If the answer comes back “it’s complicated”, I’d like to point over to the Catholic Priests. They used the same argument when they shuffled around pedophiles to avoid prosecution, and because of that trust in them fell like a rock.

I’d also love to see a change in how the police respond to events. Maybe, they should respond with considerable force for the situation. Out of the myriad of violent events over the past week or so, they all operated under a similar pattern. Something happened to provoke an over the top response from the police, and they responded with an over the top action. We have police officers in full body armor, riot shields, fully armed with lethal and less-lethal weapons, lining up against a group of young adults wearing t-shirts and jeans. One of the cops will claim that the protesters threw a rock or a water bottle at them, and they use that as an excuse to unleash hell on the crowd. Seriously. That’s their reaction to a water bottle. I’ve been hit with water bottles before, I never tried to blind anyone for it. It’s unsettling to know that trained police officers in riot gear have less control of their reactions than the average middle aged white guy.

We have a long way to go, and need everyone at the table. We can’t move forward as people until we recognize that black people matter, and that the police need to be better. I’m hopeful that we’ll see some change come out of this, but it’s going to be a long road. Trust has been broken, and it will take a lot of work to regain that trust. For many Americans, that trust was never there to begin with.

Thank you, and have a good one.

The George Floyd Riots

Sunday, May 31st, 2020.

My last post was back in early March, in the days before The Rona. God, that feels like a lifetime ago. I’ve really wanted to write about COVID and all the craziness with that, but even that can wait. To say that the fecal matter hit the mechanical air circulation device in the past week is a major fucking understatement. But to cover that, I need to touch briefly on COVID-19, or the Coronavirus.

I talked about it a little in my last post Super Tuesday Preview about how we were on the verge of a pandemic, and that it would be a good idea to study the Spanish Flu to see what was going on. What happened after that can best be described as either a monkey paw wish for clean air and no more school shootings, or some mother fucker out there is playing Jumanji. Yes, I’m like 4 sentences in and I’m already dropping a few f-bombs, that’s how fucked things are.

Here’s the short, short version of the last 3 months, more or less. A virus named COVID-19, short for Coronavirus Disease 2019 spreads, well, the fucker goes viral. It’s an airborne disease that can be spread through droplets in the air and while it has a 95-99% recovery rate, that 1-5% is a literal fucking killer. As of this writing, at least 106,187 Americans have died from this disease. That number only counts the confirmed cases, those people that died in hospitals or nursing homes and tested positive while alive. It doesn’t include the tens of thousands of people that died at home or before they got tested. It doesn’t include the people that died from other diseases or trauma but couldn’t get treatment because the hospitals were overwhelmed, and it doesn’t include the suicides and homicides from stress. We also don’t have a clue how many people died at home alone during quarantine.

Oh yeah, quarantine. In the days after my last post, the world went into quarantine to flaten the curve. That sentence had no meaning 3 months ago. Now, everyone knows what it means. Everything shut down. Schools, parks, offices, restaurants, movie theaters, sports, even Disney shut their parks down. The states led the charge because Trump is a fucking waste of space on a good day and actively fucking things up on a bad one. Everyone had to shelter in place. What does that mean? STAY THE FUCK HOME! And this wasn’t just a few cities, this was EVERYWHERE. Some states, all of them Red, chose not to, but for the most part the entire world has been on pause for the last few months. This also fucked up the economy, too.

Ever wonder what 40 million unemployed and nearly 25% unemployment looks like with damn near no help from the federal government? Welcome to the United States 2020. When everything shut down, a fuckton of people lost their jobs. The stock market crashed, unemployment surged and keeps going up. Another new term popped up: essential workers. These are the people that do the real fucking work in our society but are shunned or looked down on by the Karens of the world. Think grocery workers, garbage men, janitors, and first responders. By the way, Karen has become a meme. It represents the middle aged white lady, often with a short femullet hair cut that makes a stink about every tiny issue and demands to speak to the manager. Their white privilege knows no bounds. It’s not socially acceptable to call them a cunt to their face, but Karen works in its place. Not that you can see what they could say through the masks.

One cool thing that came out of this is wearing masks. Since the disease is airborne, it spreads easily. The best way to prevent the spread of a deadly airborne disease is for everyone to wear a mask that covers the nose and mouth. This can be a surgical mask, respirator, bandanna, or some improvised or homemade masks.

The first couple weeks of quarantine weren’t bad. It was rough, but people genuinely tried to pull together and be better. That was until a bunch Russian bots and insurrectionists funded by the DeVos family astroturfed a bunch of Conservatives into thinking that wearing a facemask in public is tyranny and a plot by the “libtards” so they put on their best ill-fitting tactical cosplay, grabbed their AR-15’s, and marched on state capitols. It got so bad in Michigan that the government closed their session. Not a single one of those terrorists was charged. Meanwhile, not a week went by where a black person was killed by the police for being black and a bullshit excuse being given to justify it. Through all of this, medical staff still can’t get proper PPE, personal protective equipment.

Fast forward to this past week. Tensions were already running high with people at each other’s throats on social media, Conservatives going completely nuts over their “freedoms” being infringed all the while the death toll keeps climbing, and Trump attacks everyone from reporters to women and Twitter for fact checking him. He even retweeted a video that said “the only good Democrat is a dead Democrat.” Enter Minneapolis and George Floyd.

George was a black man who had the cops called on him for allegedly writing a bad check. The cops arrested him, then Officer Derrick Chauvin violated every rule of engagement and handling prisoners and kneeled on George’s neck for 9 minutes, all while three other officers stopped onlookers from offering assistance or even stopping their fellow officer from trying to kill this man. George was pronounced dead by the time he arrived at the hospital following his injuries.

Since this is 2020 and cameras are everywhere, this went viral in a heartbeat. The officers tried to say that George resisted arrest. Security cameras showed that the claim was bullshit. They said he was violent. He wasn’t. It didn’t take long for the anger to rise, but it took too long for the Minneapolis Police Department to do anything. It took a day to fire the four officers involved and a few days to charge Chauvin with 3rd degree murder and manslaughter. The other three officers are still free.

That did it. Thursday night members of George’s community marched peacefully to the police station where those assholes worked. The police fired teargas and rubber bullets at the protesters. The protesters tried to run, but were fired upon. Eventually, some accelerationists started smashing windows and while the black people tried to find things to defend themselves, white people looted the stores. Within a couple days all hell breaks loose and it turns out that White Nationalists, aka Trump Supporters were out trying to cause violence to blame it on black people. The police then attacked the black protesters, and full blown riots break loose.

This scene was repeated all over the country. Peaceful protests turned violent by agent provocateurs looking to start a race war. In Detroit, Trump Supporters opened fire into a crowd from inside a van. In Salt Lake City a Trump Supporter fired into a crowd of protesters with a bow and arrow. In Pittsburgh, a group of Anarchist Cosplayers smashed out the windows of a police van and set it on fire. In New York City, cops ran over people with their police cruisers. Louisville Police fired at a news crew. Minneapolis PD fired paint canisters at people standing on their own porches.

So, let’s do the math, shall we? We have a pandemic that has killed over 100,000 Americans, quarantines that put more than 40 million of them out of work, a piss poor government response to rampant unemployment, a complete lack of PPE for the first responders facing diseased patients, a Federal government led by a narcissist who only cares about people who like him, a generation of people who have shit upon their whole lives because of their skin color, a bunch of Conservatives who think they’re being bullied by libtards and want to hurt anyone they can, a bunch of Neo-Nazis looking to start a race war, and every police department in the country with access to military equipment but no proper training on their use, and what do you get?

The definition of a clusterfuck.

I don’t know what happens next, but it’s not pretty. Real change is never pretty. As I’ve said before, I live in Pittsburgh. I could see the police helicopters over the riot from my porch. I loaded the magazines in my guns for the first time. As if I didn’t already have anxiety issues before, this puts the cherry on the turd sundae.

Here’s what I do know. I no longer will maintain respect for anyone who pushes the Blue Lives Matter or All Lives Matter hashtags, or tries to act like #BlackLivesMatter is bullshit. I have no problem with cutting people out as friends over “political differences” because those differences mean that they are a racist dick. I will do what I can when I can to support people of color, as that is literally the least I can do as a crakity-ass cracka. If I were any whiter, bitches be callin’ me Casper.

I’m here to help, as much as I can. I may look like I’m a fat middle-aged white guy whose never seen shit, but I’ve seen some shit. I’ve worked in places where white people fear to tread. I’ve lived in places where white people wouldn’t dare set foot. You know the old joke “if you can count how many black people have been in your house you’re racist?” Well, back in the day, I was the white guy on the block. I’ve been in the car when the driver was pulled over for DWB, Driving While Black. I’ve seen how the cops acted when a white guy answers the door and how they react when a black guy does the same thing. I’m here to help us get to a world where we are both treated equally. And I hope you’re along for the ride, or at least not getting in the way.

Thank you and have a good one.

They Are Not The Same

The following post is a departure from my normal posts.

Both parties are not the same. Not even close.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard in my life that both parties are the same. Democrat or Republican, it doesn’t matter. They’re both corrupt cheats. This was a common claim that I’d hear from…. well, everyone. For a long time, I’d hear this from everyone. I’d hear it from those on the left, the right, the middle, the informed and the ignorant.

The last couple years have proven that this claim is total and utter bullshit. I’ve seen this since the early Obama days, but ever since January 2017, the only ones that make try to make that claim are the ignorant or the guilty who are looking to shift the blame. The blatant corruption, greed, and hypocrisy are on display for all to see. But, every time a Republican gets caught in a lie, breaking the law, or abusing their power, someone has the audacity to say “both sides are the same.”

Bullshit. Bull. Fucking. Shit.

Democrats didn’t order children to be separated from their parents and thrown into cages.

Democrats didn’t push to kill net neutrality.

Democrats didn’t ignore the threats to the upcoming elections.

Democrats didn’t work to kill the EPA.

And, most importantly, the Democrats didn’t work to put an (alleged) rapist on the Supreme Court.

At the time of this writing, the Republican Party is pulling out every dirty trick to install a corrupt, entitled, blackmailable prick onto the Supreme Court. The only thing that’s slowed down his nomination to this point is that Senators Jeff Flake and Lisa Murkowski aren’t comfortable voting for him unless the FBI investigates the sexual assault claims against Brett Kavanaugh.

Only 2 members of the Republican Party in the Senate, out of 51, have a problem with putting an alleged rapist on the Supreme Court. If I’m doing my math right, that sounds like 49 are okay with it.

I’d like to say that I’m surprised and ashamed by this mentality, but I can’t. I’m ashamed, but not surprised. The Republican Party has long been the Anti-Woman party. Now, they can add being Pro-Rape to their platform.

Hating women isn’t a recent development for the Republicans. While they’ve never been the political party that’s catered to women, they didn’t openly advocate hating women until the Pro-Life movement began in the late 1970’s. At that point, hating women was a side effect to hating black people. The Pro-Life movement began in the years following the signing of the Civil Rights Act. Since white people weren’t allowed to legally discriminate against black people in most businesses and actions, they had to go somewhere to spew their racism. So, they went to the most racist places allowed in society: church. I’m not saying that they weren’t God-Fearing Christians before, but now they had a place to go to practice their dog-whistling. This was the rise of the Evangelicals and the genesis of the Religious Right.

The thing is, the Religious Right didn’t have another cause to help rally the troops until Roe v. Wade legalized abortion across the country. Before then, fighting against abortion wasn’t a major tenet of any sect of Christianity, except for the Catholics. And Evangelicals are about as far from Catholics are as possible. But the Evangelicals jumped on the abortion bandwagon when they were able to create the message of the “irresponsible black woman” who used abortions because they “couldn’t keep their legs closed.”

The Religious Right and the Republican Party fed off of each other, amplifying their racist dog-whistles at every turn. Welfare went from a way of providing for a poor white war widow and her family to the main method of lazy black women to get money. Public education went from the bedrock of society to poorly funded and even worse performing places that gave the Religious Right the excuse to push school vouchers, stripping even more money from those schools.

But the fight against women was their most insidious battles. The same groups that didn’t want to pay for welfare for poor people also went out of their way to hurt women. And their messaging has gotten worse over time. Back in the 90’s, the GOP started their long battle against the right to choose by trying to place more and more restrictions on when and how a woman could get an abortion. But at least then, if a politician didn’t at least claim an exception for rape and incest, they were nuts. Now, there is only a handful of Republicans left that even think that rape victims shouldn’t be forced to carry their rapists’ babies, let alone say these views.

Now, let me be clear, the Pro-Life movement isn’t actually about supporting life. A real Pro-Life stance includes allowing exceptions for abortion in situations when the mother’s life is in danger, or the child cannot be cared for. It includes providing health care for the pregnant women and helping women care for their new babies, or finding appropriate homes if the mothers are not able or willing to raise the children. Pro-Life includes a realization that sometimes forcing a woman to have a child is the worst possible decision.

The people that label themselves “Pro-Life” aren’t Pro-Life. They’re Anti-Woman. They’re Pro-Suffering. They only give a shit about the woman’s baby until the baby is born. At that point, they disappear faster than a Trump when the bill comes due. They don’t want to support the woman who has the baby when they can’t afford it, they don’t want to provide for the children’s education, and God help those women if the baby is black, because the Evangelicals sure as Hell won’t.

Want to know how disgusting the “Pro-Life” view is? Imagine hearing a story about an 11-year-old girl that was raped and impregnated by her Uncle, or a family friend, or her pastor. This girl, who has already been raped by someone she trusted, now has to fight to get an abortion. Depending on where she lives in the United States, she has to travel to some distant city, stay overnight in some low-grade hotel because she has to go through two consultations with a medical professional, then fight through a line of holier-than-though protesters calling her a whore and a slut, because they think that she’s at fault.

If you’re first thought isn’t feeling terrible for this girl but saying that she’s a killer because you think the collection of cells inside of her is more important than her this girl’s life and future and she deserved all of the torment she went through and then some, then fuck you. Learn some fucking empathy, morals, and ethics.

Up until 2016, the Republican Party kept sliding further and further into Anti-Woman policies, almost always using the excuse of “Religious Freedom.” The most common example was getting state laws passed that allowed pharmacists to refuse to administer birth control. But things got worse when Donald Trump became the nominee for the Republican Party. A serial philanderer, when his “Grab’em by the pussy” tape came out, that should have been the end of his political career.

No, it wasn’t. He somehow survived. 22 women have accused him of sexual assault, but the Republican Party lined up behind him.

It’s been two years since that tape dropped, and a year since the beginning of the #MeToo movement. In that time, we’ve seen the largest protests since the Vietnam War, and they were led by women. We’ve seen women speaking out against men in power. Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Les Moonves, Bill O’Reily, Bill Shine, and Charlie Rose. All of them lost their jobs because of their past treatment of women. Harvey’s looking at losing his freedom, just like Bill Cosby.

Another man that lost his position and power was Al Franken. Two women accused the Senator of inappropriate sexual behavior, and the Democrats forced him to resign.

Meanwhile, Brett Kavanaugh gets accused of sexual assault by three women so far, and the Republicans want to promote him to the Supreme Court.

Jim Jordan gets implicated in the cover-up of a rapist doctor’s actions at Ohio State, and the Republicans want to promote him to Speaker of the House. Yes, that doctor abused women, too.

Roy Moore was accused of molesting young teen girls while he was in his 30’s. The Republican Party tried to make him a Senator.

What’s made matters uglier is Trump’s actions against the women coming out with these allegations. Here is the President of the United States, dismissing their accusations, attacking these women, and blaming them for the assaults. And, since the Republican Party is completely beholden to Trump for everything now, his ideas now become official party policy.

Because of the this, the Republican Party is now the Pro-Rape Party.

If there is any good that has come from Trump being President, it’s that we’re finally having this conversation about how women are treated in our society.

Now, the next question is how far the Republican Party is willing to go in their alienation of women. Are they willing to say goodbye to women for the next 40 years? Because that’s the price of confirming Kavanaugh. The fact that 49 Senators think it’s worth it shows how little they think of women, but if they go through with continuing their Anti-Woman platform, they need to know that they will lose the women’s vote for good. If they’re willing to ignore, or worse silence these accusers, to put an (alleged) rapist on the Supreme Court that would make abortion illegal, then they need to know that that they will lose women for good, just like how the Democrats lost the racist vote with the Civil Rights Act.

So, we’re now at the point where if someone says “I’m a Republican”, asking them “Why do you hate women?” is no longer a cheap attack but a valid question. The only question I have left is should their new name be the Rapepublican Party or Rape-Publican Party? I’m not sure whether that should be hyphenated.

Note: By the way, I’m only saying alleged for legal purposes. Do I think that Brett Kavanaugh is a rapist? Yes. Has it been proven in a court of law? No. Do I have evidence against him? No. Does he act like a lot of the frat boy asshole rapists I’ve met in my life? Absolutely.

Thank you, and have a good one.

Two Little Sentences

This post is a departure from my normal writing, and the main purpose of this site. It is much more personal than normal, but it’s something I need to get off of my chest.

The names of the living have been changed or obfuscated. Most of the dead, too.

Last week, my Uncle Dave died. I did not attend his funeral. I have no intention of ever speaking to my aunt again without using the words fuck, bitch or cunt directed towards her. When she dies, I will not attend her funeral, nor will I give my condolences. When her children ask why I’m such a dick, I’ll tell them how no one from my family or any of my cousin’s familes were invited to the “private ceremony” they had. Then, I’ll send them the screenshot Dave’s obituary. The one that Lonely Aunt wrote that left out two of Dave’s siblings. The obituary that erased my mother from his life.

You read that right. Lonely Aunt not only denied Dave’s family a chance to say goodbye, but tried to act like none of us existed.

A little bit of backstory…

My mom (Mother) was the second of four siblings, all born in the 1940’s. She had one older brother (The Widower), and two younger brothers (Dave and Car Guy). They grew up in the suburbs of Pittsburgh on a farm until their teenage years, when the farm was purchased by a land developer and turned into suburban sprawl. The family used the money from the purchase to start several businesses, and the four kids all grew up, got married, and bought houses in this sprawl where they initially raised their families. At least I think so.

Before I go further, I have to admit something; I never felt like I was truly close to my family, both immediate and extended. I’m the youngest of my generation, by several years. From both sides of the family, I’m the only one of the 14 cousins still in their 30’s. All of the rest of them are in their 40’s or 50’s. A few of them even have grandkids older than mine. As I was growing up, there was always a generational gap. When I was playing with toys in grade school, they were in high school. When I was in high school, they were getting married and having kids. When I was getting married, they were getting divorced and their kids were growing up. It’s taken a while, but that difference is starting to fade away.

That’s one reason. Another reason was distance. When I was a small kid, all of the family members lived within a few miles of each other in the same development that rose from the ashes of the family farm. Everyone was within a few miles of each other. It was a quick bike ride, walk, or car ride to hang out at with family. But that didn’t last. As I grew up, the families moved out, but they still stayed in contact with Mother. All of them, that is, except Dave’s family on both counts. Not only didn’t they move until later, but they were always… difficult to keep in contact with.

Finally, I always felt out of place, mostly because of my own inadequacies and lack of things in common. Eventually, that went away with most of my family.

Except Dave’s family. That weirdness never went away. After nearly four decades on this planet, I still need reminders as to the names of all of my cousins in that branch, and if it wasn’t for social media, I don’t think I’d be able to pick them out of a lineup. The last time I saw them was at Mother’s funeral, over a decade ago.

So, back to present day. Last week, I get a text from my brother (Bro) that Dave died in his sleep. Over the next couple days, he tells me that he heard this from Car Guy’s daughter (Biker Mom) that Dave had lung cancer for a while. This was a surprise to me, but not completely unexpected. Dave smoked for the better part of 50 years. Instead of milk at school, they gave out Pall Mall’s and Camel’s. Dave quit like 10 or 15 years ago, but the damage was done. Plus, he wasn’t exactly the model of health. I never heard of him going on a walk or running a 5k, or anything like that.

The next few days are spent waiting for information on a viewing, ceremony, or anything else like that. His family moved out to the sticks a long time back, and like I said in Irregular Posts, I’ve got a newborn, so the logistics of making that trip are now much more complicated. Not only is this a chance to say goodbye to Uncle Dave, but also a chance to reconnect with family, and patch up any problems that existed. Eventually, on Saturday, Bro tells me through Biker Mom that there is no viewing or funeral. They’re just going straight to cremation. It sounds weird to me, but I’m like “Ok.” Maybe they fell on hard times and couldn’t afford a viewing or funeral. Plus, Dave was the stereotypical Uncle Dave. Gruff, emotionally detached, didn’t want to make a fuss, and was just generally miserable about life. Thinking back, I don’t recall him smiling much. Not even smirking.

The next night, I get a text from Bro telling me to check out the private obituary section of a certain funeral home. What I read pissed me off.

In addition to his parents, David was preceded in death by his brother, [The Widower].

David is survived by [Lonely Aunt], children [lists four kids, none of their spouses], grandchildren, and a great-grandchild.

At David’s request, al services are private…

I’d like to apologize to those in my presence when I read this for my outburst of language at the time. Screaming “Fuck him in his dead fucking ass” and “Fuck that miserable fucking cunt with a fucking cactus” is not appropriate language to yell out in front of small children or a breastfeeding mother.

After calming down a little bit, I tried to think of the best reaction. Should I stalk them on social media and spam them with pics of my mom and them? Should I harass them at work? Should I order a stripper to show up to the cremation? Should I park a car in front of Lonely Aunt’s house and play gangsta rap at 0300 every day for the next few months?

Instead I decided to send flowers.

From the families of [Mother] and [Car Guy], loving siblings of David.

I regret to inform those reading that I did not pull the trigger on this transaction. I had the credit card in hand, but talked to Bro first, since my action would likely escalate this pettiness into a full-blown feud. Bro talked me off the ledge. Instead, I’m writing about it.

I’ve had a week to think about this, and I’m still pissed off. I’ve spent too much time trying to answer a simple question.

How fucking petty does someone have to be to hold a grudge against a woman who has been dead for 10 years?

The answer, as I’ve come to figure out, is pretty fucking petty. But as I’ve looked back on everything involving her, she’s pretty fucking petty.

As I found out this past week, I was the only member of the family who didn’t dislike her or flat-out hate her for actions she caused. And, all of the grudges against Lonely Aunt were because of actions she took.

When I was growing up, Car Guy and Dave hadn’t spoken for years. I never knew the reasons, and I still don’t, but Lonely Aunt kept the feud going for decades. It wasn’t until The Widower’s funeral that I saw the two of them in the same room at the same time.

Dave lived less than 2 miles from us when I was growing up, but his family would only come over on special occasions. Car Guy’s kids visited frequently, and The Widower’s daughters came over at least once a week.

When Dave moved to the sticks, he took his annual 4th of July party with him. Of course, we didn’t know it was an annual thing until after they moved. We just weren’t invited to the previous ones. Apparently my dad said Mother’s food tasted better within earshot of Lonely Aunt and we were persona non-grata at their old house for years.

One year, Widower’s youngest daughter (Trey) was invited to a party, but couldn’t make it at the last minute due to an actual emergency. Lonely Aunt refused to invite her or her sister to any parties again. Lonely Aunt said she “didn’t think she’d want to travel the long distance.” Trey lived two streets over.

The last time my dad was invited to one of their parties, he declined as he was busy taking care of Mother, who was suffering from late stage Alzheimer’s. Lonely Aunt never invited him to anything again.

I can list even more perceived slights and non-politic interactions that Lonely Aunt felt translated into a lifelong vendetta, but fuck it and fuck her. She’s not worth any more time or effort. She wasn’t worth the 1700-2000 words I’m writing about this. Her bitchslapping my mother’s memory and shitting over my uncle’s family is definitely worth it.

So, this is the legacy of Uncle Dave and Lonely Aunt. A miserable man and a petty woman. I wonder if he was miserable because she was petty. Then again, I don’t think I need to wonder.

You know what the fucked up thing is? All of this was because Lonely Aunt omitted two sentences from a private obituary. Not even two whole sentences, but two sentence fragments. Simply mentioning Dave’s sister and living brother would have pulled the family together, and we’d be there for them in their time of need. Instead, this petty shit has pushed us away. As Bro said, “All this means is I’ll save $1.88 on stamps for Christmas cards.”

Bro and Biker Mom decided to take the high road in all of this. Recently, my philosophy has been “When they go low, step on their fucking throat.” With that, to Lonely Aunt, I say Fuck you, you miserable fucking petty cunt. How dare you show ill will to a woman who did everything she could to fix your petty blow-ups, who bent over backwards to help you with your disabled child by showing you what she went through. Your food sucked. The only thing palatable at those parties was the fried chicken you ordered from Giant Eagle. My children will find out about you when they have to do family trees at school, and when they ask “Did I ever meet my Great Aunt?” I’ll tell them “No, we don’t talk to her. She was mean to your Grandma and Grandpa.”

That’s it for Lonely Aunt. If she’s dies tomorrow, inshallah. I have much more important people to care about and love, and the only purpose she can serve now is as an example of how not to treat others.

I’ll be back next week to my regularly scheduled programming.

Thank you, and have a good one.